I met my first long term partner at the young age of 19. I used to tease her that I was still technically a teenager when we got together. We were together for more than 20 years. We always enjoyed travelling and worked really well together as a team. She was very good at navigating, we had a very well used road map and she was great at finding what I would refer to as “the fun roads”, minor C roads, often single track with passing places. I would drive, she would complain about the trees getting in the way anytime she wanted to take a photo. She would pop sweets directly into my mouth as I concentrated on the roads.
We did lots of trips, particularly in the UK. We did Manchester to John O’Groats then to Lands End and back in a circuit, staying at cheap Travelodge's along the way. We did a weekend cruise from Newcastle to Bergen, which resulted in her losing her cap in the sea and my car battery dying and having to be push started when we got back on shore. We did trips to Edinburgh, the Isle of Mann, Orkney, Builth Wells, Cornwall, Swansea, Skegness (at the third attempt) to name but a few.
Then there were trips abroad to the Norwegian Fjords proper, a 14 country road trip across the EU in 8 days, a trip of a life time to New York with Niagara Falls thrown in for good measure then another trip to Los Angeles, sun bathing on Venice Beach and sipping cocktails in Santa Monica.
During that time, it’s just how the way things were. Our skills complimented each other really well. I was good at coming up with ideas and planning. She was really good at the practical side of things. Finding things I’d lost, like the time I lost my phone and wallet at the Yankee stadium and she found it. How she was so good at packing things into a bag that seemed like a Tardis when she packed it. Once I’d done the planning, there would be a detailed itinerary for each day and she would go into teacher mode, making sure we executed it and I could just relax and let her do her thing. We took turns to lead, playing to each of our strengths.
I guess I kind of took for granted how lucky I was to have that kind of a relationship. It was a massive culture shock suddenly finding myself single and starting again. I wasn’t starting from scratch, I was starting from experience and experience that had taught me a lot.
I didn’t let it stop me. I had a trip to Portugal with a friend, another trip to Mallorca with my family and a Baltic adventure to Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and Finland with my dad. All these trips were special and different in their own ways but it wasn’t really until this year that I started doing trips entirely on my own.
Travelling on your own, when you’re used to being part of a couple is very different. There’s no one to help you pack or tell you to turn “that way” when you can’t see which way they’re pointing.
There’s a premium cost for travelling solo as you’re not splitting the costs between two people for accommodation and fuel etc. I can’t share food with someone else so it’s always a bit of a waste eating out as I can’t eat a lot anymore.
I love travelling. I love the adventure and the challenge of it. I like meeting new people, having long conversations with taxi drivers and hotel receptionists but I must admit, when you’re sat down at a table for one in a restaurant, when you’ve got nobody to hold your bag when you queue for a ride at a theme park or keep an eye on your towel when you bathe in the sea and when you’re on a 6 hour road trip and there’s no one else in the car to talk to, just the sound of the playlist you put together yourself and nobody to enjoy the scenery with, taking photos whilst I drive. It can be a little bit lonely in the silence.
Don’t get me wrong, for anyone in the same position, I would tell you not to let fear get in the way. Go out, experience things, meet people. It’s nowhere near as scary as it can feel when you first do it and you can meet new people and make new friends. A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet, after all.
Make hey whilst the sun is shining. Life has taught me that you never know how long you’ve got left. Our health, and our wealth can disappear in an instance so whilst you still can do things, don’t be the one with regrets because you didn’t take those chances and make those memories. Even if things go wrong, and lets be honest, things can always go wrong, at least you’re left with a story to tell. Some of the best stories of my travels started off with a disaster. For example, a hotel that felt like something out of a horror film in Budapest turned into a night on a boat hotel on the river Danube, enjoying baileys and watching the world go by. The delayed flight home from Alicante that meant I could have that share experience of watching England in the world cup with random strangers.
I’ve been fortunate enough to find a bunch of people that love travel just as much as I do and I’ve now done four Extreme Day Trips with other people and I have at least one more group trip booked.
Hopefully it will be a good way to make new friends and maybe one day I’ll find someone I can share my life with again and we can do those things together, but until then, I’m not going to let anything stop me from living life to the full, having adventures and seeing the world.
Life is too short to waste it. If you’re thinking about booking that solo trip, don’t be afraid, or should I say be afraid but do it anyway. You’ve got this!